Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Almost FO!!!

Please meet the object of my recent obsession:

Or should I say, the object of my OCD. This is the almost finished Ribbon X-back tank, from the Spring issue of Knitty. (For my non-knitting friends, an FO means finished object. A UFO means unfinished object. Don't ever say that knitters don't have a sense of humor.) This is my own personal Waterloo. The bane of my existence.

What I've learned from knitting blogs: just like you should always check your gauge, you should always surf the blogs to see what disaster awaits within the innocently written pattern instructions for your latest project.

Oh no, don't be misled by the simple construction, or the label designating the project as "easy" or "novice" or "beginner." After knitting for two years and working on a variety of sweaters and tops, I think I can safely say that I'm probably in the intermediate range, but I saw this pattern and thought, oh, easy. Nice and summery. And our lovely local LYS was having a sale, so I found some ribbon yarn and hopped to it.

I knitted along merrily (and yes, I did do a gauge swatch, deciding that it was close enough). Soon, I was holding up the tube I knit and I wondered. It was looking kinda big. But, somehow, I thought...well, maybe once I divided for the front and knit the straps, maybe it would look ok. Huh. NO! HUGE! And I knit the small size. So, I ripped out the whole thing (actually I knit from the original garment, so I wouldn't have to rewind the balls of yarn), switched to smaller needles, and used the directions for the XS. Knit the thing again. Finished the front, and the straps. Actually wove in the ends for all of it. Wore it once. But it was...still....too....BIG!!! It bagged in the back. So not cute.

DISCLOSURE: I am a Virgo, so perhaps these fit imperfections wouldn't bother someone else, but for me, they are like a pebble in my shoe. I would be thinking about them all the time, and the poor neglected little tank would sit in my closet forever and ever. At this point, I almost considered giving up. But my momma raised me to not let anything go to waste, although every week I throw away produce that I bought with every intention to start eating healther, but that has gone dark and slimy. But, you know. The yarn is different. I looked at this blue ribbon yarn, and lacking the creativity or vision to think of something else to do with it, I thought, damn it, I spent $27 on you! On sale! You WILL become the ribbon x back!

At some point along this quest for the perfectly fitting xback tank, I decided to check the blogs for knit alongs. Guess what? NOBODY's tank fit well. EVERYBODY's tank was fitting like it was meant for the bride of King Kong. (And I'm not talking 'bout Fay Wray here.) I could have saved myself a passel of grief if I'd thought to do this before, oh, maybe, the fourth frogging. If there's a lesson to be learned here, other than seek therapy for the OCD, it would be to check the BLOGS. Love you, blogs!

Anyway, I finally decided to (gasp!) alter the pattern. (I normally do not mess with patterns. I have been convinced that utter disaster would strike if I made anything other than the slightest change. Tanks would not turn out. Earthquakes would hit. GWB would be elected for a 2nd term....wait, never mind. OK! altering the pattern! nothing left to lose!)

So I did not rip the whole thing out, but just down to the 11" before you divide for the front, and knit it a little longer, decreasing roughly around the left and right sides so that it hugs a little tighter just underneath the arms. But of course, now the number of stitches do not match the pattern, so after messing around with the maths, which I cannot do, and knitting the front and ripping it out several times because the right and the left did not match, I just decided to knit the straps long and stitch them to the back, instead of leaving live stitches at the back to knit the straps to, halfway down the back. This way, I could knit the front the way the pattern dictated.

Well. I think this is it, my friends. I finished the knitting last night, pinned the straps to where they will be sewn, and put the thing aside. It will fit this time, maybe not like it does in my dreams, but well enough. Ya! Basta! There is a lovely lace tank top awaiting my attention (from last year's summer IK), and a shrug from this summer's IK. I'll post pix of the ribbon tank once I weave in the ends. That may be the last this world will ever see of it. (because while trying it on last night, I kinda thought it made me look fat.)

So, I just finished watching reruns on TBS of "Sex and the City," and drank some white wine. The second episode was the one where Miranda met Steve. Yay! He is so adorable! It's so much fun to watch these episodes, knowing what eventually happens. Miranda! You're being such a bitch to him! But you wait! He will win you over and you will bear his son and end up in Brooklyn, living the middle-aged, middle-class life you never imagined for yourself! But you will be in true love. Mmmm.

Swimming lesson was cancelled today, due to the thunder and lightning that has been plaguing us all week. The instructor sat with us for about 20 minutes, describing what she would have taught us. Could anything be more useless? I think she felt bad that we couldn't swim, but for the love of God. I had so many important things waiting for me at home. Like grading. Or...Sex and the City and white wine. Decisions, decisions.


At 12:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi - I found your blog through "achancetoknit.com" and thought I'd say hi! Love your blog - you are funny, girl! (And the shrug you knit is so pretty - I keep thinking I'll knit a shrug - along with the about 50 zillion other things I think I should definitely knit.)

Did you finally get your tank to fit? I hate it when that happens!


At 4:10 PM, Blogger Laura said...

Hi Olga! Wow, we really DO have a lot in common. I mean, there's Manhattan as a favorite movie, and then this fit obsession thing. I finished a sweater in, like, April and it was TOO BIG though fine for a slouchy sweater. But the enormity of this sweater just BOTHERS me. I am seriously considering ripping a completely FO. And now that I have heard your tip of knitting from the garment instead of winding balls, I REALLY want to rip. What to do? What to do?

At 7:09 PM, Anonymous heather said...

I check blogs for problems on projects too. It helps a lot I think!
I can't wait to see your tank when it's done! You should be so proud of yourself for "not following the pattern." Woo hoo!

At 11:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Olga,
I found your blog through hot-horny-teenage-knitting-erotica.com. (It's amazing what you can find there.) I have to say, your blog is more entertaining than knitting even! I can't believe I'm sayin that. It totally reminds me of all the UFOs and FOs I've got in my life. And it's way better than a CABWYS (carne asada burrito when you're snackered). In my book, you're TO! (totally ossum!)
Your fan,

At 9:55 PM, Blogger Olga said...

You naughty boy, Michael! I'll be sure to post some lascivious pictures of my collection of stitch holders for you soon!


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